What’s a Good Dad to Do? How About Set Some Limits?

Last February Dalton Conley wrote an article for TIME Magazine about the way social media are actually changing our children’s brains.  The 7 hours and 38 minutes a day that children ages 8 to 18 spend on entertainment media have altered the brains to “pay more attention to environmental stimuli at the expense of focus,” thereby damaging their young minds’ ability to perform high-level thinking.

Bummer. 

As a concerned parent–not to mention a member of a society that will one day have to take care of me–the article had my attention.

But then the author made a stunning revelation without even highlighting it as a problem. 

He writes in the first person (as all TIME columnists do these days–a very strange trend indeed):

But I am still concerned about the effect that 24/7 connectivity has on my kids-and on my 11-year-old son in particular...So what’s a good dad to do?  I’ve set some rules that are designed to aid his social and cognitive development: no Facebook during school, and no electronic devices after 9:30 p.m.

Did any of you catch his tacit admission (along with his really lame limits)?

Facebook policy clearly states:  If you are under age 13, please do not attempt to register for Facebook or provide any personal information about yourself to us. If we learn that we have collected personal information from a child under age 13, we will delete that information as quickly as possible.

Where’s the ambiguity here?  Facebook says, “don’t do it.”  The boy's father clearly allowed him to lie about his age to register on Facebook.  What else will his son lie about in the future, with or without his father’s expressed permission? 

As for the limits the father set for his son, they really aren’t limits at all.  No Facebook at school?  Kind of a no-brainer.  And no electronic devices after 9:30 p.m?  Isn’t an 11 year-old likely in bed by that time?  If not, why not, and can you lend me a couple ounces of your patience? 

Look.  I’m not a perfect father.  If any of you are therapists, my children may one day pad your wallets with stories of irrational outbursts, control, snide comments, moodiness, and a propensity to let a Packers loss ruin the day.

But please.  Let’s be grown-ups here.  We can set limits for our children.  Our 11 year-olds don’t need to lie and get onto Facebook.  They’ll be just fine if made to wait until age 13. 

As for 7 hours 38 minutes of entertainment media a day?  I don't even know how to respond to that, unless it's a Sunday NFL double-header.  Then I get it.

Brewers/Cable Essay broadcasted on 89.7 WUWM Milwaukee

Press play to listen to my essay broadcasted on 89.7 WUWM's Lake Effect program on Sept 19, 2011.

September 19, 2012 To Cable or Not to Cable

Paul Heinz

To Cable or Not to Cable - OR - Holy Crap! The Brewers are REALLY GOING to WIN their Division!

A little perspective:

In 1982, my friend John and I sat in the last row of the leftfield bleachers at Milwaukee County Stadium during Game 5 of the World Series between the Milwaukee Brewers and the St. Louis Cardinals.  We won.  I was 14.

Guess what?  Now I have two fourteen year-olds.  If someone had told me back in ’82 that the Brewers wouldn’t win another division until I had children as old as I was back then, I probably would have become a Yankees fan.  I mean, come on!

But here we are.  It’s 2011.  I have two Freshman in high school, and this is the first time my kids will actually have something to brag about pertaining to the Brewers.

Let’s face it: 2008 was a mess.  The Brewers lost  15 of their first 19 games in September that year, leading to the firing of Ned Yost.  Yes, they won 6 or their last 7, but their final victory of the season, a necessary one, came against a Cubs team that was resting several of its starters.  That and a Mets loss allowed us to get into the playoffs.  True, it gave us a chance, but no one was thinking we could go all the way, even with CC Sabathia. 

This year is different.  As I write this, the Crew is 10½ games ahead of the Cardinals, and though stranger things have happened in baseball, I am confident (and this is big for a guy who’s usually skeptical) that the Brewers will in fact win their first division title since I was a pimple-faced, cocky little punk in 9^th grade at Brookfield East High School.

It’s all so glorious.

But the question remains: do I now purchase a cable TV package?  After all, both the Division and the League series are to be aired on WTBS, NOT one of the 6 or 7 channels we get on our rabbit ears antennae.

You see, in 2000, my family moved back to the Midwest after a 6-year stint on the East Coast.  After the move, other priorities took hold, and my wife and I spent the first month in our new house not worrying about cable TV, and instead we rented a lot of movies and watched what little we could on our antennae. 

Turns out we didn’t miss cable even a little.

Here we are, over a decade later, and probably about $6000 richer than had we gotten cable.  True, my children are considered weird, and their friends discuss shows my kids have never seen before, but they’ve gotten used to it, and we try to rent what few cable shows are worth watching through Netflix.  My "cableless" children seem no worse for the wear.

But alas, this year is DIFFERENT.  We’re talking MLB playoffs, baby.  If my kids are as unlucky as I, we’ll still be talking about this baseball season TWENTY-NINE YEARS FROM NOW!!  I'll be 72!  Holy crap.

So really, can I honestly NOT get cable?  I think not.

But then I have visions of a three game sweep by Atlanta in the first round of the playoffs, and me stuck with 256 channels of crap for the next twelve months.

But a victory.  A National League Championship Series appearance, or even...gasp!...a World Series.  I would pay a monthly cable fee ten times for that experience.

I’ll be calling Comcast in the morning.