Packer Essay broadcasted on 89.7, WUWM Milwaukee

Press play to listen to my essay broadcasted on 89.7 WUWM's Lake Effect program on Feb 9, 2011.

The Waiting: A Packers Championship

I was still in the womb when the Packers won their second Super Bowl in 1968, and my daughters were in the womb twenty-nine years later when the Packers finally won their third.  Although it might have been somewhat poetic had the Packers' fourth Super Bowl victory taken place with the next generation in utero, I’m happy to say that my children won’t have to spend their first three decades on earth hearing about the Glory Days.  Instead, they witnessed them firsthand last night, when the Packers beat the Steelers Super Bowl XLV.

It just so happens that the first Packer game I can remember also took place against the Pittsburgh Steelers, this one in 1975, a 16-13 loss at County Stadium in Milwaukee.  My father and brother went to the game while the rest of the family watched on TV, and I was certain that I could see my father’s checkered pants and my brother’s lanky frame as the camera scanned the crowd.  Losing had become such a tradition in Green Bay by 1975 that the Milwaukee Sentinel headline the next day read (if memory serves): “Losing Packers: Don’t Feel Bad.”  That’s right.  A close game against the defending Super Bowl champions was considered a moral victory for the lumbering Packers. 

Green Bay finished with a 4-10 record that year, and while people kept telling me that Bart Starr was The Man, The Myth, The Legend, as head coach he appeared significantly less than legendary.  I’d never seen clips from the first two Super Bowls or the classic quarterback sneak in the Ice Bowl against Dallas.  I'd only heard the stories.  For many, those last great victories had taken place merely seven years earlier.  But for me, they'd occurred a lifetime ago. 

Prior to yesterday’s victory, it had been fourteen years between Super Bowl wins for the Packers.  Even if another fourteen years times two pass before Green Bay wins the next one, that’ll be sooner than how long those born in the tumultuous year of 1968 had to wait to witness a championship.

Soak it up, young fans.  Championships are a thrill for they simple reason that they happen so infrequently.  You may have to wait a little longer for the Brewers to win a World Series, but I put down some money in Vegas last week for a Brewer appearance in the next October Classic at 8-1 odds.  And who knows?  After last night and the Packers finishing the year with an improbable six straight victories, anything can happen.

A Pain Unparalleled - A History of Packer Heartbreaks

You remember.

Oh, you remember alright. 

You remember the Miracle at the Meadowlands on November 19, 1978, which ultimately led to an Eagle record of 9-7, inching out the Packers’ 8-7-1 record and keeping them out of their first playoff since 1972.

You remember the games against the Bears in the 80s.  Take your pick, except from 1989.  William Perry.  Sweetness.  Only we never called him that.  Not back then.

You remember our playoff hopes dying in 1995 as the Vikings whooped the Pack 27-7 on December 27.

You remember Jim McMahon completing a 45-yard pass to Eric Guliford with 6 seconds to play on September 26, 1993, leading to yet another Viking victory over the Packers.

You remember the no-call fumble against the 49ers, followed immediately by the game-ending touchdown pass to Terrell Owens on January 4, 1999.

You remember the loss to Atlanta on January 4, 2003 followed by the loss to the Vikings on January 9, 2005.

And of course you remember the interceptions:

The fourth quarter interception against the Cowboys on January 14, 1996.

Six against the Rams on January 20, 2002.

The overtime interception against the Giants on January 20, 2008, Favre’s last pass as a Packer.

And let’s not even bother to dwell on the fourth and 26 against the Eagles on January 11, 2004.

But as we prepare for the Game of the Century, the matchup we all wanted, let us not forget that a loss to the Bears this weekend will lead not to a wound that merely surpasses those prior heartbreaks, their scars still shiny, a gnawing reminder of what might have been.  No, a loss this weekend will likely lead to an open bloody gash, inoperable, life-threatening, an injury so painful, you’ll be begging for death or for a scalpel to amputate that part of your brain that makes you feel.

On the other hand, the upside is so damn appealing...

I can't wait.  Packers 24.  Bears 13.

Viewing Football In Real Time

I like football.  Don’t love it, but like it.  Last year I dreamt that the Packers and Vikings played to a zero-zero tie in regulation, only to have the Packers win in overtime (unfortunately it wasn't prophetic), and I guess one could argue that dreaming about football signifies an unhealthy obsession, but it rarely comes to that.  More often than not, I can’t even watch the games I want to watch.  Personal and familial responsibilities aside, I don’t have TIVO or any other digital recording device for my TV.  This kind of makes sense because I don’t have cable either, and each time a 747 flies over my house en route to O’Hare (about every 40 seconds) the picture on my 24 inch TV pixelates and briefly goes blank.  A digital recording certainly wouldn’t mollify the nauseating effect of not knowing the outcome of a play-action pass, so what would be the point?

My neighbor, however, has a large flat-screen TV with all the fixings, and last night I joined him to watch the Packers-Bears game digitally (with humiliating results).

“This is great,” he said.  “You can watch a three hour game in forty-five minutes.” 

And we did.  We skipped all the pregame talking heads, the Star-Spangled Banner, the replays, the commercials, the cheerleaders and the half-time show highlights.  And you know what?  Something was missing, and I’m not just talking about the Packers’ defense in the fourth quarter.  Fast-forwarding sapped the game of all its majesty, however puffed up that might be.  It saved some time, to be sure, but at what cost?

I admit it.  I happen to like the pregame show that features guys who spend way, way too much time thinking about football.  And I like hearing the National Anthem no matter how poorly it’s sung.  I like the predictions and formulaic questions on the sidelines and equally formulaic answers.  It all adds to the suspenseful buildup required to make the game something more than just your average TV-viewing experience. 

During the game, I like hearing the guys in the booth overanalyze a challenge call and repeat the phrase “indisputable visual evidence” countless times (and then explain the meaning of the phrase for their mentally-challenged viewers).  I like the commercials, which seem to signal a Pavlovian impulse to crack open another beer.  And I like the replays so that I can watch Aaron Rodgers thread the needle one more time.  And the cheerleaders?  Well, I like them too.

I like it all. 

Heck, in my young adult life, Monday Night Football was a full five hour event.  But forty-five minutes?  That’s the equivalent of fast-food: it sounds good beforehand, but it always fails to satisfy.

Everything else in life is rushed.  Football viewing should be an exception.  And so should Mike McCarthy’s predilection to waste a timeout by challenging an official ruling that has no chance of being overturned.